A Referral Guide for Clergy.

Marriage Rediscovery is Catholic in foundation, rooted in the Church's teaching on marriage as a permanent covenant capable of renewal. The weekend welcomes couples of any faith or none. Below is a plain account of the program, when to refer, and how to coordinate with your local community. We have written this for ordained and commissioned ministers, so the tone is pastoral but practical.

What the program is

The weekend runs from Friday evening through Sunday afternoon, followed by six 90-minute sessions over the next twelve weeks. The format is presentations by volunteer couples and a clergy member, then private written and spoken dialogue between each couple. The program stands in the Retrouvaille tradition, from which many of our presenters and clergy members come. Marriage Rediscovery is independent of Retrouvaille International. Catholic in foundation, open to any faith or none. Volunteer-run and donation-based. For a fuller overview, see what the program covers and our Catholic foundation. For more on the volunteer organization behind the weekends, who we are is the place to start; for a referral pathway tuned to licensed clinicians, a referral guide for therapists is the companion page.

The Catholic foundation

The program is grounded in the Church's teaching on the permanence and fruitfulness of the marital covenant. The Catechism describes matrimony as a sacrament that orders spouses to "the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children" and a bond "consecrated by a special grace" so that it can be lived and renewed. The pastoral letter "Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan" from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops names the practical truth a parish priest sees every week: many marriages are weary, some are in crisis, and the sacrament gives them ground for renewal. The weekend gives couples the tools to live that renewal day to day. Some of our presenting couples and clergy members are ordained or serving in religious life; others are lay couples in good standing. All have walked a hard road in their own marriages and chosen to serve. The roster of presenting teams carries the lineage in detail.

Welcome to couples of any faith or none

Many couples who attend are not Catholic. Some have no religious background at all. The communication tools the weekend teaches are practical and accessible, and they work in any marriage that is willing to do the practice. The Catholic identity of the program does not require conversion, and the weekend does not pressure attendees toward sacraments. We say this in the same breath as our Catholic foundation, not as a contradiction to it. The Church's teaching on marriage is not contingent on the spouses' baptismal status; the practical work of communication is not contingent on theirs either.

When to refer

The couples who tend to benefit most from a referral from clergy:

• Couples in serious marital distress who have come to your office asking what will help.
• Couples after an affair where both spouses are willing to do the work.
• Couples who keep returning to your office for the same conversation, and who would benefit from compressed time and immediate practice.
• Couples whose marriage is "fine but flat" and who sense the drift before it becomes a crisis.
• Couples on the brink of separation who have not yet retained an attorney.
• Couples in mid-separation who still want to try.

When not to refer

This is the section that earns trust. The weekend is not the right next step in any of the following situations:

• Physical or emotional abuse where private dialogue between the spouses is unsafe. The dialogue is the central practice of the weekend, and it is not safe in the presence of coercion.
• Active addiction crisis without sobriety. Stabilization comes first.
• Severe untreated mental illness, including active psychosis or untreated bipolar mania.
• Active suicidality. The weekend is not staffed for crisis intervention.
• Situations needing canonical or legal counsel before any retreat. A weekend is not a substitute for a tribunal interview, a civil consultation, or a safety plan.

How the referral conversation tends to go

A parishioner who asks "is there anything that will help our marriage" is rarely looking for an exhaustive answer. They are looking for a next step that is concrete, not too far off, and that does not require them to label their marriage as a failure first. Naming the program plainly tends to land best: a Catholic-rooted weekend retreat plus six follow-up sessions, run by a community of couples, that has helped people in worse shape than yours. Avoid promising outcomes; the data is good but no program is a guarantee.

Invite both spouses, not just the one in your office. The single hardest moment in every referral is the conversation between the two of them about whether to attend. Encourage the parishioner to ask their spouse without selling. A short two-week follow-up after the weekend, by phone or in person, sets a habit of accountability that helps the work stick. For many parish priests, marriage prep gets the time and marriage triage does not. This is the resource for triage.

How to coordinate with your local community

1. Read the program overview so you can describe it in your own words.
2. Browse upcoming weekends for dates and locations near your parish.
3. Email or call your local community via the contact page. A volunteer couple can answer scheduling and accommodations questions.
4. Consider attending a weekend yourself as an observer if your bishop or supervising priest permits. Several priests have. The experience usually changes the way they talk to married couples afterward.

What we ask from referring clergy

• Name the program plainly. We are Marriage Rediscovery, an updated version of the Retrouvaille program, independent of Retrouvaille International. Accuracy on that point matters to us and to the originating organization.
• Do not promise outcomes. The data is encouraging, but the work is the couple's, not ours.
• Support the affiliation language above when a parishioner asks about the lineage.

We do not ask for endorsements and we do not pay referral fees. The organization is volunteer-run.

Resources for your bulletin or homily prep

• What is Retrouvaille?. The plain-language overview, suitable for a bulletin paragraph.
• The program in detail. What a weekend and the six follow-ups actually cover.
• The success rate, in context. The figures plus the caveats a careful homilist will want.
• Upcoming weekends. Dates and locations near your parish.

A clergy one-pager with a bulletin paragraph, the contraindications, and a sample referral script is in production. Until it is posted, this page covers the same ground.

See upcoming weekends to refer to Read our Catholic foundation Coordinate with a volunteer couple

If a parishioner is in immediate danger, the right call is to local emergency services and, where appropriate, to canonical or legal counsel before any retreat. The weekend is for marriages that need help, not for situations that need protection or a hospital.