Our Christian foundation

The honest version

The program emerged from Catholic tradition and reflects Christian principles. But read the program overview before you let that stop you: the work is about marriage, not conversion. The tools are practical, and they work the same way whether or not you pray. You can learn more on our who we are page about the wider mission and the people who run it.

What is religious about the weekend

A few elements, all optional:

• A Mass or devotional service
• Christian Multi-Denomination (CMD) weekends in many regions, led by a minister and spouse rather than a priest
• Focus on the marriage, not on doctrine
• Respect for every faith tradition in the room

Where the program came from

The lineage runs Marriage Encounter to Retrouvaille to Marriage Rediscovery. Marriage Encounter began in the 1960s as a renewal weekend for engaged and content couples. In 1977, a group of Catholic couples and clergy in Quebec adapted that format for couples in serious trouble and called the new program Retrouvaille, French for "rediscovery." The Christian framing was native to where it came from, not bolted on later.

Marriage Rediscovery is the next step in that lineage. We are couples and clergy who came up through Retrouvaille over decades of volunteer work, and we refreshed the program for the couples in the room today. The structure is recognizable: a weekend retreat plus six weekly follow-up sessions, peer-led by couples who have been through their own rebuild. The materials are updated. The Catholic understanding of marriage as a sacrament, as described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church §1601–1666, is still in the bones of the weekend. The communication tools the program teaches are not. how we're different explains why that distinction matters when you are comparing your options.

What you do with forgiveness

Some of the hardest minutes of the weekend look a lot like forgiveness, even when nobody is calling it that out loud. One of you is being asked to release something. The other is being asked to receive that release without flinching.

Couples with a Christian frame have words for what is happening. Couples without one find their own. Both end up doing the same work. We have not noticed that the religious couples come out of the weekend any differently than the others. You can read what that has looked like in practice in our success stories.

Open to all couples

Faith, or no faith

We have run weekends for couples where one is Catholic and one is Jewish, where one prays every morning and the other has not been to a service in twenty years, and where neither believes in much. The program has worked for all of them.

The interfaith and no-faith couple

One of you is Catholic and one is Jewish. One of you prays every morning, the other has not been to a service in twenty years. Neither of you believes in much. We have run weekends for all of those couples, and the program has worked for all of them.

The communication technique itself is secular. The optional faith elements on the weekend are clearly marked. Skip them, sit through them, participate as much or as little as you want. Your spouse's faith, or lack of one, is not a problem we are trying to solve here. The our community page shows the breadth of couples who have stayed and built something lasting here.

What we ask of you

Show up. Stay through Sunday. Try the dialogue technique on a real subject the two of you have been avoiding. That is the whole ask. The Christian framing is there if it helps you, and quietly out of the way if it does not. The presenting couples who run each weekend have walked this same path. Every one of them chose to come back and help the next couple. About us explains the structure and the people behind the program. Clergy referring couples can read a referral guide for clergy for a Catholic-foundation framing tuned to ordained ministers.